Comments on: Musical Beds: Bedtime and The Coupledom

By: The Un-Romantic Bed « The Couples Tool Kit

The Un-Romantic Bed « The Couples Tool Kit — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 01:17:14 +0000

[...] Sleep Over Romance: Mr. Maher speaks the truth when he says, ”No one can command sleep.” But almost anything can interrupt it for many. It is this conundrum of shared bedding that often puts even the best of compatible Coupledoms in a quandary over how to stay intimate and spoon in the double, queen or king-size realm, and still get a decent night’s sleep. Snoring, insomnia, spouses who talk or groan in their sleep, toss and turn and even strike out an arm or a leg sometimes smacking their unsuspecting partner, steal sheets, need the T.V. on, turn on a light to read, leave the bed several times to pee, get hot flashes and rip off the covers or their PJ’s in middle of the night, fight over windows open or closed: these are just some of the interruptions that can lead to serious sleep deprivation. Those are challenges enough to Coupledom sleep compatibility without adding the great sleep challenge that child rearing brings to the art of achieving a peaceful night’s sleep “together.” (See my previously published post on the subject, Musical Beds: Bedtime And The Coupledom). [...]

By: jilledelmanlcsw

jilledelmanlcsw — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 00:04:08 +0000

Dear Jeff,

So glad that you found the post useful. I have received a number of emails from individuals relating to this post. One colleague, Dr. April Benson, observed that medical conditions of spouses are another complication, such as restless leg syndrome. Obviously sleep apnea is one of the most common complications facing many couples. Peri Menopause and menopause being another contributor to couples bedding down comfortably each night and staying the course.

Thanks for your comment.

By: jlsimons

jlsimons — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 23:52:16 +0000

Really insightful post, Jill. The complicating factors bit struck home. Good food for thought — and discussion. Thanks.

By: jilledelmanlcsw

jilledelmanlcsw — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 23:31:10 +0000

Dear Camille,
The communication between the couple is the key. As I wrote, hopefully life is long, and what works at one phase of the Coupledom, may not at another. The challenge of young children just being one amongst many that face the marital/couple bedtime connection. Just keep talking to teach other, and listening!

Thanks for your question.

Jill

By: Camille

Camille — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 22:01:38 +0000

so are you supporting the marriage bed as an essential relationship binder, or just being flexible to each others needs, whether together or seperate?

By: jilledelmanlcsw

jilledelmanlcsw — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 01:19:31 +0000

Dear Friends,

Feedback is welcomed on any of my posts. If you have questions as well.

Jill Edelman