Uncoupling

The art of uncoupling is a particularly sensitive process that I offer to couples who have striven for years to stay together but reach a point where that option has run out. Often this is not a mutual conclusion so the work here is to tread carefully and allow folks to find a path of greater understanding, ownership and when possible, forgiveness both for themselves and their partner. My goal is to help couples not “throw the baby out with the bath water” which is tempting but a disservice to both parties and the family they created. My hope is to help couples find meaning in and respect for that shared life even as steps are being to leave it. This a multi-faceted process unlike any other in my practice. For couples to reach this moment means that there is a great deal of pain that needs to be sorted and shared to get to the pragmatic solutions so necessary for the outcome to be optimal. The nuts and bolts of the how and when are cranked out in very specific terms. When should the children be told and what should be shared? How to communicate with parents, in-laws; friends, workmates and bosses. The goal is to create a new form of trust in a life apart yet still shared through children and history. There is grief and loss and often a sense of failure that accompanies uncoupling while simultaneously crafting a viable relationship apart. Not all couples want or need to do the deeper work of uncoupling but I provide an environment for that journey as well as a safe setting if the goal is simply to plan the logistics. I meet the couples where they are and guide them toward reaching their goals.