Sick & Pissed: My visit to the “infirmary” yesterday revealed a young lady on the red couch, still stuffed up and anxious about her ROAR training, focusing mostly on the new vocational life skills staff person who has to train with her today at 11:00 a.m. I am typing this at 10:58 with the hopes that the gals got off to a good start.

A Rotten Combination: The trajectory of the conversation had the typical downward slid which occurs when our daughter had an interaction that left her insulted and bossed. “She put pressure on me to get ready. I hate that.” Her apartment-mate, seated nearby on the same couch, (she always chooses the chaise end, our daughter plops herself in the center) sympathized, adding that she has had the same experience with the unfortunate new staff person. Things became more and more heated, tears and anger, with residential staff comforting, mate consoling, and solutions offered as to how she can manage the training the next day while suffering from the rotten combination of a cold and a staff person with whom she is super pissed off.

Adios: I left and later that night checked in to find out how the lass was doing. Better. She apologized for her behavior. Staff think her venting a positive. But I know how it can last for hours, feed on itself and not respond to efforts by others to reflect her feelings and offer strategies until it runs its course. Tantrum is another term for it, triggered by the powerlessness she was feeling confronted by conflict: “I know I need to do the training” versus “But I don’t want to do it with her.” We did find strategies that offered her comfort, so my presence was no longer needed, if needed at all. (We could postpone training but as mentioned in previous post, she has waited three months for this moment.)

ABD Rocks: At 12:30 I will call and see how the training went, if she went, and how she did with the vocational staff. ABD is on the ball. They are ready to move in if this new pairing does not work (that of the two clients and the new staff person). I was able to reach the powers that be on a Saturday afternoon, and the residential coordinator went over there last evening. Can’t ask for more than that from your service provider, nope.

Follow-Up: Our daughter did not pick up her cell phone when I called over to the apartment so I have not been able to get a first-hand report on the training. However, according to the residential person in charge, she did go off with the vocational staff without a fuss, completed the training, and though feeling super stuffy, felt good about it. Communication issues reared their ugly head but I will focus on that more tomorrow. I am eager to hear from our daughter regarding how she felt about the training, was she proud of herself for overcoming her difficulties and accomplishing the task at hand? I hope so. Fingers crossed.

©Jill Edelman, M.S.W., L.C.S.W. 2011