Sleep Overs: While observing our daughter frolicking with family friends, her brother and one of his pals last evening, I began to wonder, when she moves in to her apartment, will we have sleepovers? How does that work? If home is there and home is still kind of here, can she just call and say, “Can I spend the night?”

Pondering Out Loud With Hubby: Sipping coffee and watching the ruby-throated humming bird land on the butterfly bush this morning, I posed this question to her dad. I am always working a problem in my mind, and inclined to share my mental queries despite the Walden Pond aspect of a summer’s morn, with the sweetest of breezes swaying the oaks, the sparrow and gold finch chirping and the mighty frogs in our little pond twanging out lyrics that challenge the best country western singers. I can spoil any moment with reality bites. But said hubby was forgiving and shared the thought that our daughter cannot just up and leave on any given weekend to hang out with mom and dad overnight. There are the funding/staffing requirements. If both girls left their apartments for all or part of most weekends, staff funding would be jeopardized, or criteria for residential housing would be marred and threatened. Makes sense.

Ambiguity Doesn’t Work In The Special Needs World: We are up to our ears in social service bureaucracy. When others are paying the bill there are rules! And I had best find out what they are because ambiguity won’t work for our daughter. The move to Ridgefield August 1 is bound to create some emotional ripples and worries in our young lady. When does she see us, what is the protocol here? Hopefully this question will be easily answered but will she like the answer? I’ll let you know.

©Jill Edelman, M.S.W., L.C.S.W. 2011