Big Stakes Question: Will I ever be able to trust you again? Lies, a pattern of lying, finally exposed and then at last a forced coming clean; what does any of that mean? Frankly there is no more powerful issue in couples therapy – in all interpersonal linkages, than this question: Do liars change? Lance […]
Personality Styles and Disorders
Oldies but Goodies: Can You Say No To A Narcissist? Co-Narcissism and The Coupledom
Jill is taking a break from the blog this week. Here is one of her most popular posts from the past year or so. Excerpt: Do You Often Feel Invisible in The Coupledom? Healthy narcissism is a good thing. We need to care enough about ourselves to stay healthy, strive to achieve, pick caring partners, […]
Oldies but Goodies: Our Child Is Gay; Hasidic; Autistic; Muslim; Bi-Polar; Asperger’s; Born Again: The Coupledom Adjusts
Jill will be back with a new daily post tomorrow, but for tonight, here’s another of her Oldies but Goodies. Excerpt: The Parenting Gamble: Whether you birth or adopt a child, genetically screen or take your chances, what you draw from the pile may please you, challenge you, overwhelm or revolt you in turn. The […]
Did You Miss Me? 8-23-11
The Chocolate Lab Comes Home: Last evening my husband and I visited our daughter at her apartment, bringing both the stuffed dog and her real dog, Ms. Wags, aka Waggy, whom she hadn’t seen since August 1. I had the feeling that our daughter really missed us this past weekend. She called many times while […]
Sheer Coincidence and The Personal Pays Off: 8-21-11
Magic: The sheer coincidence of things makes me wonder if readers will think I am writing fiction not fact. But fact it is. Two days ago my focus was on concerns that our daughter’s volunteer job at the cat clinic was ending with no new animal-related work on the horizon and what was my role […]
The Coupledom Contract: Who Gets Thrown Under The Bus?
The Costs Of Accommodation: There are many unspoken and even unconscious clauses in most Coupledoms. They may include never confronting your partner with the reality of their tone-deaf singing or limited grace on the dance floor. Perhaps the overcooked spaghetti goes unmentioned, or the gardening attempts that are less than stellar. None of these accommodations […]
Oldies but Goodies: ADD, OCD, BPD, NPD: The ABC’s That Influence The Coupledom
Jill is taking a break from the blog this week. Here is one of her most popular posts from the past year or so. Excerpt: Bewilderment in The Coupledom: Many years ago, prior to the full outing of adult ADD, a patient was incredulous at the repeated forgetfulness of her spouse. Requests to pick up […]
Charlie Sheened? When Your Spouse Is Unraveling, What To Do?
The Foundation is Cracking: An earthquake, a tsunami or the breakdown of a family member? Viewing Charlie Sheen on the T.V. screen, gaunt and pulsating with the energy of an avalanche, full of spit and spin, dark circles rimming incendiary eyes, evokes a sadness and melancholy in me for both him and his family. Though […]
Can You Say No To A Narcissist? Co-Narcissism and The Coupledom
Narcissism: For the purposes of this post I am using a definition of narcissism found on a website called Seximus: “Narcissism, behavior which involve exclusive self-absorption. A degree of narcissism is considered normal, where an individual has a healthy self-regard and realistic aspirations. It is considered pathological behavior when the person tends to harbor an […]
Our Child Is Gay; Hasidic; Autistic; Muslim; Bi-Polar; Asperger’s; Born Again: The Coupledom Adjusts
The Parenting Gamble: Whether you birth or adopt a child, genetically screen or take your chances, what you draw from the pile may please you, challenge you, overwhelm or revolt you in turn. The odds are that many parents/Coupledoms will become members of clubs that they never wished to join, and may be horrified to […]
ADD, OCD, BPD, NPD: The ABC’s That Influence The Coupledom
Personality Styles and/or Disorders: Tara Parker Pope’s New York Times Well blog this past week tackled the topic of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and marriage. Researchers are hard at work studying the impact of a partner with ADHD on their relationships. No surprise to find out that indeed there is an “impact”. Bewilderment in […]