Deja Vu: It is 8:15 a.m. and our daughter is up, dressed, breakfasted and logged on to Facebook. The Ability Beyond Disability bus is expected any moment. After a five-year absence, and no longing for its return, I can’t believe the little bus will be coming up the drive again. So many memories of little buses, irate drivers, distressed mom, helpless dad, procrastinating daughter or worse, one who is melting down for any number of reasons. The change is palpable. Five years in a dormitory with other girls, all trained to get up and get out, goes a long way. Fortunately, we only have three weeks of this until she moves in to her apartment in August. Otherwise, my hunch is that regressive behavior could rear its unappealing head.

Oops: Yesterday we met at the apartment with the other mother/daughter team to measure space for living and dining room furniture. The other team already furnished their bedroom, with a set bought and delivered from a local furniture chain renowned for low prices. The queen size bed and headboard, chest of drawers and night table, looked sparkling new and great. I became instantly worried that our daughter’s furniture would appear shabby in contrast. The other young lady’s bedroom at home had not been updated since her childhood, and the mom was eager to bestow this loving gift of passage to adulthood on her daughter. Oops. We went from the bunk beds to the queen size three years ago, and the chest of drawers is not a match and I have yet to get the night table. Oh well. Inevitable.

The Red Couch: We agreed to check out living room furniture at the chain store where they purchased the bedroom suite, and after taking some measurements, drove directly there. A sectional seemed in order and pretend leather, this combo of leather and other, affordable. The girls are very affable and easy on the subject of furnishing. But they did have likes and dislikes. Both girls and I liked the red leather sectional better than anything else. The other mom was less enthused, understandable as it is a definite statement of red. But the price is right, the style low-key without big busty pouches of stuff everywhere. We agreed to check out another store next week. We are an amiable team, the four of us, so far.

The Little Bus Arrived: Our daughter boarded, accustomed to the ritual and smiling, settled in her seat while I peaked in to get the lay of the land. A young friendly male driver and an older equally friendly male attendant introduced themselves and we discussed the details of pick-up and whether she could walk herself into the house on her own at drop-off. Yes, she can. While chatting, I scoped out the scene and saw three young fellows, two in wheelchairs. Not sure what the deal is today at the DSO (Day Support Options), but plan to pop by and assess variables such as level of stimulation, peers and purpose. The other mom is concerned about this as well. The days that are devoted to more social pursuits rather than “work” may be the most problematic. These young ladies have spent years at boarding schools with rigorous schedules, simulation and true peers.

More Details Later: Hope to have a good report tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

©Jill Edelman, M.S.W., L.C.S.W. 2011