I Am Sorry For Your Loss: Those are the words our daughter wrote, unprompted, on the sympathy card she sent yesterday to her friend’s parents. I was so touched. She added one more sentence, “I miss…” and signed her name. Who taught her those words? I did, the culture did. She absorbs it all, seamlessly, and puts it back out there appropriately. Sealed, sent and sad.

The Special Needs Matchmaker: When I stopped at the apartment at 1 P.M. yesterday the girls had that newly showered look, having returned from swimming, and already prepared and eaten their lunch. Earlier that day they did household tasks and grooming chores. All spic and span. It was fun to peek in and see this busy little hive of youthful female activity. Our daughter was on her computer in her room but happily came down to see me, collect some items, and write her note. The residential coordinator had her laptop out and was making plans with the ladies for the weekend. I picked up from the conversational flow that they comfortably collaborate on decisions, aiming for free and mutually appealing events. The Shakespeare performance on the town green was sadly “sold-out” but the butterfly walk the next town over (our town) was on. There is a conspicuous ease with which these young ladies cohabit which makes this DDS match pretty remarkable. A year ago they were strangers. Somehow the special needs matchmaker in the sky above deemed these girls worthy of a lucky break, and they certainly got it with each other.

The Missing Vocational Piece: Though both girls were at home yesterday, only our daughter was scheduled for the individualized residential day errands and activities. The other mate did so due to the absence of a substitute work skills coach to take her to her volunteer job. Hopefully this will not be the case for the remaining time period until they hire a replacement. Our daughter is still awaiting “clearance” on her background check so that they can schedule for her inaugural day as “companion” to the elderly lady at the senior residence who shares her room with a pet cat. Fingers crossed, the cat, the senior and our daughter will be another good match. No cat spats please.

©Jill Edelman, M.S.W., L.C.S.W. 2011