Vigilance Required:  As we approached our daughter’s 21st birthday, and subsequent aging out of our school district, we considered whether an out-of-pocket third post secondary year at her special education boarding school, would be indicated. “Out of pocket” 100%! Our local school district has funded an important portion of our daughter’s education for the last five school years,  However, now that she is 21, that is over. As a result, we had to weigh what would make sense, pay for another year of vocational and academic education in a very protected and familiar environment, with a greater  financial cost to our family, or bring her back to her state and begin her “independent living”?

A Significant Factor: Perhaps the most significant factor in this decision making process was the “cautionary” warning by individuals “in the know”,  who advised us to bring her back NOW! To begin specific funding requests for age out, because the relevant departments, state and federal, are seeing a diminishing of available funding for age outs.

The Desire to Postpone: Putting off  the day when our daughter would “live independently with supports”  is so tempting. It doesn’t take much imagination to guess how scary this chapter is for us, particularly after five fear-free years while she was away .

And For Her: During her recent Spring break our daughter cried and blamed us for making her “leave the “school I love and all my friends”…and outrage that she wasn’t given a choice. 100% right! As always. I love how she cuts right to the chase. So smart, so right on, so clear. Awesome Gal.

Clearly we have made the right decisions for her before. Let’s hope we are making the right one for her now!

©Jill Edelman, M.S.W., L.C.S.W. 2011