Catching Up: Since our daughters moved into their new home about seven weeks ago, the other mother and I have not chatted. All was going well and we had the freedom to take care of other aspects of our lives. Today we finally caught up to make some decisions on coffee tables, ottomans and side tables. And to celebrate this smooth sailing that both our daughters have been experiencing in their shared life. We count ourselves enormously lucky. Lucky! The girls are really so bonded, beyond our dreams. She asked me “Have you heard anything negative between the girls?” Nope. In fact what I heard when I asked my daughter what she thought of her apartment-mate, some weeks into the new life, her answer was “She is awesome and so funny.” The other mom said, “That’s what I hear too.”

The X Factor: I know. But once our daughter went to boarding school we started watching Idol. (I was raised on Broadway musicals and love a great vocal performance). It is a natural segue. Tonight, the premiere of The X Factor brought out the good news first; this twelve-year-old girl with the kind of sweet face that reminds one of yummy muffins, belts out a song, and I am sold. (Even though I know I am being manipulated, that’s entertainment, the ultimate manipulation.) I believe in dreams. And I tell my patients, fantasize about what you would like (fantasy is a daytime dream). That’s how you know what direction to move towards. I did fantasize, or dream, about our daughter’s future. You have to. And I wasn’t deluded. I was wishful, watchful and pro-active. With our daughter for now, that dream has come true.

A Memorial: Tomorrow our daughter and I go to the Cape for the Friday memorial service of her classmate who died last month. This is the first visit since her June graduation. She will return to the campus where she spent most of her last five years. Many of her friends are still there or in the area. I wanted her to have this “reunion” and to honor her friend. Of course dreams are only as good as reality.

©Jill Edelman, M.S.W., L.C.S.W. 2011