• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
The Couples Toolkit Logo
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Family Therapy
    • Couples Therapy
    • Uncoupling
    • Individual Therapy
    • Grief and Loss Counseling
    • Children of Divorce, Young and Adult
    • Transitions in The Coupledom
    • Empty Nest Couples Counseling
  • Blog
  • Parenting Adult Special Needs
  • FAQs
  • Contact
  • Show Search
The Couples Toolkit
Hide Search

Blogs

Aiming high to achieve what matters most: Connection; Communication and Mutual Respect

The Factor of TIME: Underrated and Overlooked

The Factor of TIME: Underrated and Overlooked

By Jill Edelman . 6:57 pm

TIME is a most precious commodity.

Yet TIME for the couple to be together is often overlooked and undervalued, each partner rushing to do his or her best at the socially prescribed “role” of parent, employee or community volunteer.

In therapy, TIME for the couple is valued, precious, proscribed and imposed. Boundaries are firm and a couple is finally permitted to take the TIME to notice and attend to the pressing needs of the relationship.

It is easy to rationalize that one has neither the time nor the money for this “luxury.” But the price paid in not taking the TIME costs a great deal more. Divorces are expensive in dollars and pain, which lasts far longer than the time it takes for the therapy. Yet our culture chooses to deceive us in thinking that TIME for the couple is not as important as achieving and providing and can wait for the next day, someday, often the “it’s too late” day.

The Coupledom

Enjoyed it? Share this article on

About Jill Edelman

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. jlsimons says

    at 4:20 pm

    What you say is right on the money, Jill. It seems like family is the first place we steal time from, but it should be the last. One thing I found when my wife and I were in therapy was that we had a safe block of time that was always there for us and neither of us could cancel or preempt for something “more important.” Welcome to the blogosphere, Jill.

    Reply
    • jilledelmanlcsw says

      at 8:58 pm

      Hi Jeff,

      Thank you for your comment. I appreciate your feedback and am impressed by how much you felt that setting that “time” aside was helpful, in and of itself, in your couples work.

      Reply
  2. bracha f. says

    at 3:38 pm

    i am so happy for you and i know that whoever is working with you will be very pleased with their success in coupledom..

    Reply
    • jilledelmanlcsw says

      at 8:56 pm

      Thanks Bracha. I think as colleagues we can exchange ideas. much love always.

      Reply
  3. Linda Francese says

    at 8:48 pm

    Hi Jill,
    I love this blog. It is so beautifully laid out and thought out. You say so many wonderful things here that are so true. This is wonderful!

    Reply
    • jilledelmanlcsw says

      at 12:07 am

      Linda,

      Thank you. I am so glad that you were able to check out the blog. Please pass it on to anyone who may be interested and enjoy it. Your words make me feel very good.
      Jill

      Reply
  4. cindy freedman says

    at 10:41 pm

    well you have successfully motivated me to check out a blog. Lucky for me it is your blog i love the information
    cindy

    Reply
    • jilledelmanlcsw says

      at 9:19 am

      Dear Cindy,

      So glad to hear that. Makes me very happy. Thanks Cindy.

      Reply
  5. lynnie tolk says

    at 6:37 pm

    dearest jill
    one cannot express how comforting it is to have an expert put our confused emotions and feelings so easily into beautiful words and thoughts. chris and i have both reread this entry a few times now. thank you, my friend

    Reply
  6. Kim Schneider says

    at 7:21 am

    Insight first, Change second, TIME key. Time is the easy part!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Categories

Recent Posts

  • The Pandemic Coupledom 2021: Reinventing the Meaning of Us
  • Pandemic Wisdom For The Coupledom: The Chance To Be Swaddled Again
  • Coupledom Crossroads: Empty Nesting in the Age of Netflix

Most Popular Blogs

The Passive-Aggressive Punch: The Silent Code of Anger In The Coupledom

Bully Wives? Yes, But They Don’t Know It.

Can You Say No To A Narcissist? Co-Narcissism and The Coupledom

Follow Me

This Crazy Quilt: Parenting Adult Special Needs One Day At A Time


Follow @couplestoolkit

Subscribe to The Couples Toolkit Newsletter
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Related Posts
The Pandemic Coupledom 2021: Reinventing the Meaning of Us

The Pandemic Coupledom 2021: Reinventing the Meaning of Us

Pandemic Wisdom For The Coupledom: The Chance To Be Swaddled Again

Pandemic Wisdom For The Coupledom: The Chance To Be Swaddled Again

Coupledom Crossroads: Empty Nesting in the Age of Netflix

Coupledom Crossroads: Empty Nesting in the Age of Netflix

Read More Posts

 

The Couples Toolkit
Icon
Contact Info
Call: (203) 984-1517
Email: jill@thecouplestoolkit.com

Icon
Office Address
9 Shady Lane,
Redding, CT 06896
Icon
Office Hours
Flexible – In person, Phone, Zoom or FaceTime Sessions.

Facebook Twitter

The Couple's Toolkit © Website Design & Development by SHJ and Omaginarium