Often, a “discussion” of relationship problems is in reality a “hot potato of blame game”. Each partner assumes a familiar stance based on notions that they know what their partner is thinking and are therefore prepared to pull out an arsenal of phrases tailored to protect themselves from “blame” and designed to provide “evidence” that […]
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Humor in Couples Therapy
I have experienced the bonding effects of shared humor and the therapeutic role it plays in a couples’ relationship. Often, in the course of the therapy, one of the healthiest signs that the marriage is still viable and can become strong again is the shared humor about family matters, each person’s shortcomings, children, and relatives. […]
An Article Worth Sharing: Pre-Marital Cohabitation
This Merits a Perusal: I am about to take a journey with my spouse which will include an abundant amount of “quality time” together, some of it on the road. Hence I am sure that upon my return home, I will have ample material to ponder and share. I had no plans to post anything […]
Sick & Pissed: 10-23-11
Sick & Pissed: My visit to the “infirmary” yesterday revealed a young lady on the red couch, still stuffed up and anxious about her ROAR training, focusing mostly on the new vocational life skills staff person who has to train with her today at 11:00 a.m. I am typing this at 10:58 with the hopes […]
Angelfish: 10-18-11
Swim Lesson At Last: Tonight our daughter will have her first semi-private swim lesson with Angelfish, and Cindy Freedman, the talented occupational therapist who welcomed our daughter as a volunteer last Spring. Cindy’s talents are known far and wide. My fingers are crossed that our daughter will allow the Angelfish magic to take hold, and […]
Our First Separation: 8-20-11
A Weekend Away: We left the area for the first time since our daughter took residence in her adult independent living abode. Yesterday afternoon my husband and I headed for his home state of Maine. Our daughter had virtually no reaction, certainly no concern. Her only request was that we purchase a stuffed chocolate lab […]
The Alphabet Soup of Adult Special Needs: 4-14-11
Acronyms Abound: The category of housing that meets our daughter’s needs is a relatively new designation referred to as a CRS (Continuous Residential Support – different from a traditional group home/CLA “Community Living Arrangement” as CLA’s are licensed, and funding is different. The CRS “allows for more self-determination”. PRAT (Program Review….)is the body that will make the […]
Acknowledging The Coupledom: The Domicile in Which The Relationship Resides
The Number 3: The number three plays a powerful role in human dynamics, both as a positive and a negative. For the threesome that composes a triangle, where one is often missing in the dialogue, the number three can take on heinous characteristics. For the play date, it can convulse into gang warfare. However, in […]
Women are Frightened But Men Are Not Listening: The Disconnect in The Coupledom
Women Know Something That Men Need to Know: When a friend mentioned that her teenage daughter’s driving instructor suggested she relax her shoulders, complimented her appearance and bemoaned the fact that his job restricted personal revelations, the mom’s antennae went sky-high. It soared when her daughter added that her girlfriend had similar inappropriate moments with […]
More Gore: A Window Into Our Worries: And A Wake Up Call
A Litmus Test For All: Reactions to the Gore’s separation has provided a bit of a window into the thinking of males and females regarding the downfall of a 40 year marriage. Conversations and emails commenting on the separation reveal more about ourselves than about the Gores. As most of us are outside of the […]
Al & Tipper: Growing Apart Green
Why? The news that the Gores are splitting up may shock most of America but only because no one cheated? Well may be no one cheated but also cheating is not the only deal breaker in a marriage. Speculation with The Goal of Prevention: For the purpose of raising awareness, and, with the aim of […]
Should Sandra Bullock Forgive Him? Forgiveness and The Coupledom: What Makes It So Difficult
To Forgive: According to the Oxford College Dictionary, second edition, 2007, forgive is to: “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw or mistake.” Stop is the operative word here. Stop The Feeling. How to “stop” a feeling of such magnitude, as if all that was required was a red sign at […]
Adopted Adults Becoming Parents: Some Considerations
Unique Considerations: One of the more monumental life events is approaching parenthood. Prospective parents who are adopted have unique considerations. Many have never knowingly encountered anyone in their lifetime with whom they share genetic origins. The notion of another living being resembling them or sharing inheritable traits with them is powerful. This is a time […]
Musical Beds: Bedtime and The Coupledom
Hidden Yet Common: Many couples spend their nights in separate bedrooms. Most often this begins when raising young children and in many cases, ends when that acute phase is over. Musical beds: This refers to the night time movement from bed to bed of parent or child, that begins, not with music, but with a […]
Tiger’s Tale: Tiger Woods, Elin; Denial and the Coupledom
The Role of Denial in the Coupledom: How many more times before the year is out, will another powerful man be exposed as a philanderer? Will we see more women standing at podiums reminding us of the old ballad, “Stand By Your Man”? For the Coupledom, what can be learned here? In one word, […]
What we can learn about marriage from Michelle Obama
“The equality of any partnership ‘is measured over the scope of the marriage. It’s not just four years or eight years or two.’” Michelle Obama knows that every relationship is a work in progress. The New York Times Magazine article, “The Obamas’ Marriage” by Jodi Kantor 11/01/09, touches on some of the cornerstones of the […]